I was 6 when me and Dawn had no choice but to go move to Texas, because Grandma died and Dad no-longer had a place for us to live. It killed my Dad inside to give his girls to a woman that is so evil. You have to understand that in a short amount of time, Dad lost his job, his car, his Mom, his home, and now his children. It was a very bleak period in his life and mine,too!! We arrived in Texas to a little red house on Pecan St. in Houston. I had to use the bathroom as soon as we got there and to my horror, there were cock roaches lying all over the bathroom floor. No, Mom wasn't dirty, she had the house sprayed for bugs while her and her new husband, Bobby Frankin Sarver, flew to Michigan to come get me and Dawn. Carol forced me to use the bathroom, even with the bugs all over the floor. A *real* mother would have used a damn broom and dustpan and swept that shit up, but she was laughing at me as I was hysterically crying. I didn't know any better as I'd never seen cock roaches before. Shit, I was 6 fucking years old for Christ's sake, but that's the kind of person and so called 'mother' she was and still is. Within a few days, things calmed down, or at least I thought, no one could have ever prepared me for what happened next. One night Dawn went somewhere for the night and it was just me, Carol, and Bobby. We were in their room, and it was a little chilly in the house so they had their bedroom heater on. It was built into the wall and had blue flames. I remember that well, as that's all I could look at when it happened. Carol went into the kitchen to make us sandwiches I think. I thought Bobby was just wrestling around with me until I eventually found myself being put underneath him while his huge adult body lay on top of my small child body. He started to kiss me and not in the way that is anywhere near appropiate with a child. Carol came back and didn't think anything of it. She just thought we were wrestling around, as she didn't see him kissing me 'that way'. Bobby got up, him and Carol continued to play Atari. I was so confused and felt so violated. I didn't know what to do. That was the first time of many. I don't recall everytime, I suppose I have blocked most of it outta my mind, for my sanity.
The next time I remember, was a saturday. Carol was working and left Bobby home to watch us. The way the house was set-up, there was the living room, a den off of that, and then there was the kitchen/dining room. Well the kitchen had a doorway to left and right of the living room. So there was 2 ways to get to the kitchen from the living room. Dawn was eating cereal and watching cartoons. Bobby called me into the kitchen, where he proceeded to pick me up. He raised and lowered me up and down the front of his body, all the while having an erect penis. It was so quitely done, Dawn never heard a word. I remember closing my eyes, hoping he would be done soon and I could be with my Dawny. It happened 2 more time in that house that I can remember, with the last one being caught by Carol. But, that wasn't the last time it happened, just the last in that house!! The next time was a little more graphic. It was just me and Bobby home alone. He asked me to come into his and carol's room. He then asked me to lay on the bed and he put a pillow over my face. He said he couldn't do what he wanted if I was looking at him. He then proceeded to take my panties off, and as I lay there, scared, waiting for someone to come home and save me, he proceeded to perform oral sex on me!! After he was done, he told me to never tell, because if I did, bad things would happen to my mother and Dawn! I know this is hard to read, especially for my little sister, but it's inportant for me to get this out. This blog is my therapy!!
The landlord of the house lived just next door, and much to my horror again, he too was a child molester. One night Carol left me and Dawn home alone while her and Bobby went to the bar. Yes, this stupid Bitch left a 6 and 8 year old home alone!! Me and Dawn climbed into Carol's bed. Dawn read and I kept hearing noises from the window behind us. I sneeked a peek and it was the landlord trying to tear the screen off and open the window to get to me and Dawn. Frightened to no end, I called the bar and told my mom. She came home and the landlord must've heard the truck, because he was gone before they hit the driveway (the house was on the end of the street and the street being connected to a major street). The landlord always 'flirted' with me and Dawn, the sick Bastard!!
The last time Bobby touched me in that house was again on a saturday morning. Dawn was still asleep I think. Carol was also still in bed. I woke up and went into the living room. Bobby was up, and in his chair. We had this wooden door with no handle that was for the hallway that connected to the bedrooms and bathroom. Bobby asked me to come stand in front of him, he started to kiss me, then eventually started to fondle my vaginal area. Carol came in and she must've looked through the hole where the handle on the door should've been before entering, because the next thing I know, she's in the living room with a shot gun to Bobby's head. I'm crying and now so is Dawn. She claims the only thing that stopped her from blowing his brains out was the fact that me and Dawn were standing so close to him. She said she didn't want me and Dawn to have to remember someone being shot in front of us for the rest of our lives. One of the few times the evil wench was actually human!!
So a normal mother would've packed her children and their shit and got the hell outta there, right? Not my mother!! All she made that mother fucker do was apologize to me and say he would never do it again!! What kind of sick Bitch does that? I was 6 damn years old, there should've been no question!!
Bobby didn't touch me again till a awhile later when we moved to Baytown,Texas. Carol took Dawn and toddler Crystal to the store to get a birthday present for one of our then cousins. Yes, the sick BITCH left me home alone with the same man who had previously violated me over and over!! He conned me into his and my mother's room, where again he started to fondle me and kiss me. I reminded him of the promise he made to me and my mother, but he kept going. He stopped just shy of getting caught by Carol again. I was too scared to say anything, as he was threatening me again. After awhile, we moved again. We finally settled into a house that we stayed at for awhile. Next door where awesome people. I don't remember the husband's name, but the wife was a sweet woman who would later try to adopt me. Her name was Kathy Baird. They were a younger couple with a son around my age. I played over there alot. I loved their house and loved the way it always smelled like cinnamon and apples. The husband played drums and they had the first t.v. I had seen with the wired remotes(before modern wireless remotes). Kathy was into Marilyn Monroe and he was into Star Wars and had the whole E-Wok village to play with in their room, it was freakin' awesome!! These people stuck with me long after Carol packed up Dawn, Robert and Crystal and moved to Florida, leaving me all alone in a state with no family.I'll get back to them later.
In this new house, it was close enough to ride my bike to school, which I really enjoyed. Me and Dawn riding down the street every morning to school, it was something that was just so cool at the time. Sometimes I walked to/from instead of riding my bike, that is when I made friends and they didn't have bikes to ride so I walked with them,too!! I was a very outgoing child, and easily made friends and had many, unlike today where I am so guarded that you practically have to jump through hoops to get me to let you into my heart!
I loved school, I loved my teacher and on this particular day, we had an assembly. Ironically, like it was a gift from God, the assembly was about people inappropiately touching you. After the end, the teacher asked just 1 simple question, "Had any of us been touched in that way?", I was the only child to raise their hand. I was asked to stay behind and was questioned. After, I was sent back to class. I was in the middle of doing one of my 'ditto' worksheets left for the substitute to give to us, when the door opened and this person started to whisper with the sub. and they were looking at me. I was then asked to go to the office with them where a school social worker was asking me questions. I went home that night and never said a word about what happened, but i guess they had called home and questioned Carol, because the next thing I know, she was telling me I didn't have to answer any of their questions anymore. The next day I went to school, and again was pulled outta class. I went to a couselors office where they were asking me questions. Well, even then I was a cocky bitch,lol, as I told them in a cocky tone and voice that "My Mom said I didn't have to answer *any* of their damn questions". They kept wanting me to go with this one social worker, but I had a bad feeling, so I ran outta there, wandering the halls. Eventally I had convinced myself to go to the office. There they had convinced me to go with this case worker. She said I'd be able to go back home, and I believed her. After awhile I realized, sitting there in the Child Protective Services office, I wasn't going home that day. I was mad and crying, but she took me to McDonald's for a Happy Meal (which at the time, was hugely popular) I calmed down for awhile, but then started crying even harder as we drove for awhile and approached a house, little to my knowledge, was my 1st foster home!! All I could think about was Dawn and how much I missed her and wanted her with me. ........to be continued tomorrow....thanks for reading!!
Love,
~~~B~~~
The next time I remember, was a saturday. Carol was working and left Bobby home to watch us. The way the house was set-up, there was the living room, a den off of that, and then there was the kitchen/dining room. Well the kitchen had a doorway to left and right of the living room. So there was 2 ways to get to the kitchen from the living room. Dawn was eating cereal and watching cartoons. Bobby called me into the kitchen, where he proceeded to pick me up. He raised and lowered me up and down the front of his body, all the while having an erect penis. It was so quitely done, Dawn never heard a word. I remember closing my eyes, hoping he would be done soon and I could be with my Dawny. It happened 2 more time in that house that I can remember, with the last one being caught by Carol. But, that wasn't the last time it happened, just the last in that house!! The next time was a little more graphic. It was just me and Bobby home alone. He asked me to come into his and carol's room. He then asked me to lay on the bed and he put a pillow over my face. He said he couldn't do what he wanted if I was looking at him. He then proceeded to take my panties off, and as I lay there, scared, waiting for someone to come home and save me, he proceeded to perform oral sex on me!! After he was done, he told me to never tell, because if I did, bad things would happen to my mother and Dawn! I know this is hard to read, especially for my little sister, but it's inportant for me to get this out. This blog is my therapy!!
The landlord of the house lived just next door, and much to my horror again, he too was a child molester. One night Carol left me and Dawn home alone while her and Bobby went to the bar. Yes, this stupid Bitch left a 6 and 8 year old home alone!! Me and Dawn climbed into Carol's bed. Dawn read and I kept hearing noises from the window behind us. I sneeked a peek and it was the landlord trying to tear the screen off and open the window to get to me and Dawn. Frightened to no end, I called the bar and told my mom. She came home and the landlord must've heard the truck, because he was gone before they hit the driveway (the house was on the end of the street and the street being connected to a major street). The landlord always 'flirted' with me and Dawn, the sick Bastard!!
The last time Bobby touched me in that house was again on a saturday morning. Dawn was still asleep I think. Carol was also still in bed. I woke up and went into the living room. Bobby was up, and in his chair. We had this wooden door with no handle that was for the hallway that connected to the bedrooms and bathroom. Bobby asked me to come stand in front of him, he started to kiss me, then eventually started to fondle my vaginal area. Carol came in and she must've looked through the hole where the handle on the door should've been before entering, because the next thing I know, she's in the living room with a shot gun to Bobby's head. I'm crying and now so is Dawn. She claims the only thing that stopped her from blowing his brains out was the fact that me and Dawn were standing so close to him. She said she didn't want me and Dawn to have to remember someone being shot in front of us for the rest of our lives. One of the few times the evil wench was actually human!!
So a normal mother would've packed her children and their shit and got the hell outta there, right? Not my mother!! All she made that mother fucker do was apologize to me and say he would never do it again!! What kind of sick Bitch does that? I was 6 damn years old, there should've been no question!!
Bobby didn't touch me again till a awhile later when we moved to Baytown,Texas. Carol took Dawn and toddler Crystal to the store to get a birthday present for one of our then cousins. Yes, the sick BITCH left me home alone with the same man who had previously violated me over and over!! He conned me into his and my mother's room, where again he started to fondle me and kiss me. I reminded him of the promise he made to me and my mother, but he kept going. He stopped just shy of getting caught by Carol again. I was too scared to say anything, as he was threatening me again. After awhile, we moved again. We finally settled into a house that we stayed at for awhile. Next door where awesome people. I don't remember the husband's name, but the wife was a sweet woman who would later try to adopt me. Her name was Kathy Baird. They were a younger couple with a son around my age. I played over there alot. I loved their house and loved the way it always smelled like cinnamon and apples. The husband played drums and they had the first t.v. I had seen with the wired remotes(before modern wireless remotes). Kathy was into Marilyn Monroe and he was into Star Wars and had the whole E-Wok village to play with in their room, it was freakin' awesome!! These people stuck with me long after Carol packed up Dawn, Robert and Crystal and moved to Florida, leaving me all alone in a state with no family.I'll get back to them later.
In this new house, it was close enough to ride my bike to school, which I really enjoyed. Me and Dawn riding down the street every morning to school, it was something that was just so cool at the time. Sometimes I walked to/from instead of riding my bike, that is when I made friends and they didn't have bikes to ride so I walked with them,too!! I was a very outgoing child, and easily made friends and had many, unlike today where I am so guarded that you practically have to jump through hoops to get me to let you into my heart!
I loved school, I loved my teacher and on this particular day, we had an assembly. Ironically, like it was a gift from God, the assembly was about people inappropiately touching you. After the end, the teacher asked just 1 simple question, "Had any of us been touched in that way?", I was the only child to raise their hand. I was asked to stay behind and was questioned. After, I was sent back to class. I was in the middle of doing one of my 'ditto' worksheets left for the substitute to give to us, when the door opened and this person started to whisper with the sub. and they were looking at me. I was then asked to go to the office with them where a school social worker was asking me questions. I went home that night and never said a word about what happened, but i guess they had called home and questioned Carol, because the next thing I know, she was telling me I didn't have to answer any of their questions anymore. The next day I went to school, and again was pulled outta class. I went to a couselors office where they were asking me questions. Well, even then I was a cocky bitch,lol, as I told them in a cocky tone and voice that "My Mom said I didn't have to answer *any* of their damn questions". They kept wanting me to go with this one social worker, but I had a bad feeling, so I ran outta there, wandering the halls. Eventally I had convinced myself to go to the office. There they had convinced me to go with this case worker. She said I'd be able to go back home, and I believed her. After awhile I realized, sitting there in the Child Protective Services office, I wasn't going home that day. I was mad and crying, but she took me to McDonald's for a Happy Meal (which at the time, was hugely popular) I calmed down for awhile, but then started crying even harder as we drove for awhile and approached a house, little to my knowledge, was my 1st foster home!! All I could think about was Dawn and how much I missed her and wanted her with me. ........to be continued tomorrow....thanks for reading!!
Love,
~~~B~~~
posted by bannibear @ Thursday, January 25, 2007
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