Although I don't remember their names, the 1st foster home wasn't too bad. They had a child of their own (a teenager). My foster mother's sister also lived there and helped out with the children. There was only 1 room for all of us foster kids, but it was rather large, with 3 sets of bunkbeds and some dressers. Their daughter had her own room. She was blonde and was very nice to us kids! My foster father was an asshole. He was a police officer, but still an asshole none the less. I used to threaten to run away and he always used that fucking badge as a way to scare the hell outta me. I didn't stay long, but I remember them taking us to the park and playing frisbee. They made Chex Mix afterward, the first time I'd ever had this scrumptious treat (my obssesion with food started at an early age,,lol). I cried alot, I guess I still do. I mostly cried for my Dawny. I know I've said that before, but me and Dawn's bond is just un-explainable. Just know it's very strong, and it's not only a sister bond, but she was my 'mom' growing up and sacrificed herself for me and crystal, robert in a way that I couldn't even fathom, but am eternally grateful for and will spend the rest of my life showing her my gratitude.
I was removed from this foster home for several reasons, one they slapped me, 2-they refused to let me talk to family, often telling them I wasn't there or was busy. I guess I understand why they did it, but I caused a scene when they wouldn't let me talk to Dawn and I walked in on them telling her I wasn't there. That's when I got mouthy (imagine that..lol)and then they slapped me. The 3rd reason was I was able to go home.
It was a few days to a week before Christmas. I was so excited to pull up to that house. When I walked through the front door, Dawn practically knocked me down hugging me. She held me so tight around my neck, I felt like she was choking me..lol. I missed her soo bunches.
I had found out that Bobby was ordered by the judge to move and not come a certain feet from me. After awhile, Carol let him come by the house again. He used to think he was cool on his Harley, fucking smug prick!! Carol used to tell me to stay in the house when he came over, but she let the sick fuck take my other siblings for rides and stuff. Sometimes I view Carol as a Child Molester, because she kept giving him the opportunity. She shoulda divorced him the same day she caught him fondling her 6 year old., but she's just a worthless piece of shit just like her mother who let her friends rape carol and her siblings.
I had to change me story on Bobby numerous times due to Carol. She kept saying I was lying and that she couldn't love a liar (nice to tell your child, right?..fucking WHORE), so naturally I changed my story and said I had lied about him touching me, as I thought this would make Carol love me and be nice to me again. All I've ever wanted in my life, even now, was for 1 word from that woman on why she hates me so much and why she doesn't love me. What did *I* do to her for her to treat me this bad in my life? I'm sure she blames me for her and bobby's divorce years later(why not, she still blames Crystal for her and Rick-husband #7- divorce, even thought Crystal was sticking up for her when he beat the shit outta her..it's sad to say, but she prolly deserved it, fucking BITCH).
I finally went back to the TRUTH and told her Bobby did touch me, after that she hardly talked to me. If she did, it was hateful and rude.Once the Judge for word Bobby was still around, guess what? Once again I was put into foster care.
This home was fun and the lady was very nice, although at the time I hated the world and took it out on her. She had recently lost her son, and was still grieving. One day we got into an argument and she said she thought I was lying about being molested, so because I was so full of rage I told her that I didin't believe her son had died. I knew as soon as I said it, I was so wrong in doing so. She started to cry, eventually dissappearing into her sons room, later coming out with his death certificate as proof. I felt really bad and apologized, pointing out I*was* molested and I wouldn't have said what I'd had, if she didn't say what she did. We went to church every sunday, coming home to donuts and milk. We had a swing set in the backyard, there were 3 other kids there, 2 girls and a boy. I had such a hard time there, I even ran away to a friend's house but my foster mother found me. She had talked to my case worker, and I had a court date coming up, if I didn't get to go home, they were placing me elsewhere.
The day of the court date came. Carol was also there. I remember I couldn't go into the courtroom when they were talking to Carol, so I was asked to go sit on the bench just outside the courtroom doors. I was curious as to what was going on, and there was no one around, so I slightly opened the door so I could hear what was being said. What I heard still haunts me to this day. Carol was refusing to keep Bobby away from me, the Judge asked her to choose between her Husband and her Child and she chose Bobby!!! She was then advised that they were thinking of taking her other 3 kids away, so that's when she sent Dawn, Crystal,and Robert to live with a friend in Florida. She didn't care about me and she didn't even hesitate when the judge gave her the choice of me or him. This is where my hatred for her really started. I was her daughter, not just some shmuck off the street!! How could she do this to me? I've asked her that many times, and surprise,surprise she denies it, along with all the other bad stuff she's done to us kids that we'd confronted her about now that we're all adults. She still acts like she was the perfect mother. In my eyes, she isn't a mother, she never has been and never will be!! She should be court ordered to stay away from kids and animals for the rest of her worthless little life!!! I say animals, cause she just likes the idea of having an animal (no offense, but I think that's where Crystal gets it from). She used to drop off cats, kittens, dogs, and puppies down the road in Texas where there were nothing but woods. She would get me and Dawn a dog, then take it away 'cause she didn't want it anymore. She's gotten rid of her dog Savannah 'cause she didn't want her anymore, she killed her pet snake by letting it swim in fucking chlorine pool water, she ran over 1 dog and said it was an "accident", she gave me Alice that she had for almost 5 years because she didn't want her anymore she just wanted Sugar (alice's daughter), she 'gave away' Sugar's pups before they were ready to be weened (they were around 4 weeks old), she pawnd off her dogs on anyone who'll take them for awhile when she's tired of them being around, she gave Candy Cane away 'cause she didn't want her anymore, she doesn't give them there shots, doesn't worm them, and doesn't treat their fleas until they are so bad the dog gets sick and has to have their fur shaved. When we went to TN for our vacation, Sugar was still pregnant. They only had a little dog food left and she was asked to get more. Those dogs went almost 2 days before she bought them food, all the while with Sugar being pregnant. She mis-treated her iguana's and left the cage open on the deck, and out they went to explore the woods and come to their untimely death because she was so careless. This is why I say she shouldn't be allowed to ever have animals and I fell sorry for Sugar ( a miniature Sheltie) who is still in her possesion.
Anyways, I watched Carol leave the courthouse and not even care or bat an eyelash. I was so hurt. I was sreaming and crying. They had to take me to another room to calm down. I went to the window of the room, and it had a perfect view of the parking lot. I watched my 'mother' leave, which made me even more hurt. Even after all I'd heard and all she'd done, I still wanted to go home with her.After she left, me and my case worker left in her car. Not before opening the trunk and pulling out a Cabbage Patch Doll (hugely popular at the time)and giving it to me to help me feel better. I still have that damn doll..lmao!!! We went to the Child Protective Services office where we stayed most of the day until she could find a suitable place to put me. I guess no homes were available at the time, 'cause before I knew it we were pulling up to a place called Y.O.U. which stood for Youth Opportunties Unlimited. It was kind of like a shelter but better. It had 4 rooms, 5 bathrooms ( 1 in each room, and 1 in the attic). The 2 rooms in front were for the girls, the 2 in back for the boys. My favorite place was the attic. It was set up as a play room/livingroom. There was a pool table, table and chairs and a closet full of every game and puzzle you could imagine. This is also where we held Wed. church night, and our counseling sessions once a week. Once a year, they'd let the kids throw a party up there, inviting up to 5 people per person.I loved being there!! There was another small house on the propert where the Y.O.U. offices were. They took us everywhere, on walks, to the 'Y' to go swimming, to the zoo, the park, pic-nics, the whole sha-bang!! My school was just down the street, so I got to walk to school instead of being bused, which was awesome. It was my own private time to myself. We also had an arcade game there, a piano, a punching bag on the porch and plenty of yard space. There were 6 beds in my room and we each got to take turns listening to the radio at night. I used to be majorly into Country at the time, so I had to listen to it quietly, 'cause no-one else liked country..lol. They gave us Easter Baskets full of all kinds of stuff including nail polish and make-up, on Easter. We had a phone so we could talk to friends, and the staff was awesome. This place was a real treasure to me then. I don't know if it still exists today, but I hope so. I watched it help so many people and not just younger ones. There were people there that were 16,17. I will always treasure my memories of that place. Eventaully I had to leave. My case worker let me choose where I wanted to be. I went to this one group home that was nice, I had my own room, but I just had a bad feeling of it there. That's when they introduced me to Jim and Judy Holland. They were the group home's parents. The place was owned by Houston and called H.A.P. and stood for Houston Achievement Place. They had HUGE houses. Some were literally almost mansions!! I was placed in one just down the street from the Mayor of Houston. This house was BIG!! It had a sitting type living room, a big dining room, a t.v. room, a rec. room, a kitchen, 4 bedroom and 1 bath upstairs, and 2 rooms and 2 bathroom downstairs. One room downstairs was small and was used for our weekend 'den' mother so that the homes 'parents' had the weekend off. The other room was the homes 'parents'. The room was set up more as an apartment than anything. It had a bedroom and bathroom, a living area and another room off that, that was a kitchenette. They even had their own entrance via the deck in the back yard. We had a weekly 'outing budget' for activities on the weekend.Living with them was just like a dream come true. One summer we went on vacation for 2 weeks. 1 week we spent camping and the other was where I got to go to New Orleans. It was the best time I'd ever had up to that point in my life. New Orleans was magical, with break dancers, cafe's, little stores to explore everywhere, but the best was when we ate at a restaurant that actaully rotated very slowly. I was nervous, as this was obviously a high end restaurant which I had never experienced. The rotating room was a little much to get used to when you're young, and almost made me dizzy. I was experiencing something so wonderful and New Orleans will always have a special place in my heart. The people where amazing, almost mesmerizing, the feeling that city gives you cannot not be explained except to say it was an extraordinary place and summer!!
This is where Kathy Baird came in. She somehow found out where I was, and we set it up with HAP and CPS (child protective services) to go on weekend visits with them. Kathy was like a mother to me, helping me with my anger and tantrum issues, and giving me the love and support a real mother should!! After awhile, I got to go to her house for weekend overnighters which was fun!! They took me to many places even Fame City and Waterworld. They were both very active in my life. They wanted to adopt me and the only thing that stopped them, was my father, bless his heart!! Carol was ready to give me up just like that!! That's when they started to look at my Dad for a permanent home for me. It took them a long time to get him thouroughly checked out, and age 10, I was FINALLY back in my fathers arms!! To Be continued.....Thanks for reading!!!
Love,
~~~B~~~
I was removed from this foster home for several reasons, one they slapped me, 2-they refused to let me talk to family, often telling them I wasn't there or was busy. I guess I understand why they did it, but I caused a scene when they wouldn't let me talk to Dawn and I walked in on them telling her I wasn't there. That's when I got mouthy (imagine that..lol)and then they slapped me. The 3rd reason was I was able to go home.
It was a few days to a week before Christmas. I was so excited to pull up to that house. When I walked through the front door, Dawn practically knocked me down hugging me. She held me so tight around my neck, I felt like she was choking me..lol. I missed her soo bunches.
I had found out that Bobby was ordered by the judge to move and not come a certain feet from me. After awhile, Carol let him come by the house again. He used to think he was cool on his Harley, fucking smug prick!! Carol used to tell me to stay in the house when he came over, but she let the sick fuck take my other siblings for rides and stuff. Sometimes I view Carol as a Child Molester, because she kept giving him the opportunity. She shoulda divorced him the same day she caught him fondling her 6 year old., but she's just a worthless piece of shit just like her mother who let her friends rape carol and her siblings.
I had to change me story on Bobby numerous times due to Carol. She kept saying I was lying and that she couldn't love a liar (nice to tell your child, right?..fucking WHORE), so naturally I changed my story and said I had lied about him touching me, as I thought this would make Carol love me and be nice to me again. All I've ever wanted in my life, even now, was for 1 word from that woman on why she hates me so much and why she doesn't love me. What did *I* do to her for her to treat me this bad in my life? I'm sure she blames me for her and bobby's divorce years later(why not, she still blames Crystal for her and Rick-husband #7- divorce, even thought Crystal was sticking up for her when he beat the shit outta her..it's sad to say, but she prolly deserved it, fucking BITCH).
I finally went back to the TRUTH and told her Bobby did touch me, after that she hardly talked to me. If she did, it was hateful and rude.Once the Judge for word Bobby was still around, guess what? Once again I was put into foster care.
This home was fun and the lady was very nice, although at the time I hated the world and took it out on her. She had recently lost her son, and was still grieving. One day we got into an argument and she said she thought I was lying about being molested, so because I was so full of rage I told her that I didin't believe her son had died. I knew as soon as I said it, I was so wrong in doing so. She started to cry, eventually dissappearing into her sons room, later coming out with his death certificate as proof. I felt really bad and apologized, pointing out I*was* molested and I wouldn't have said what I'd had, if she didn't say what she did. We went to church every sunday, coming home to donuts and milk. We had a swing set in the backyard, there were 3 other kids there, 2 girls and a boy. I had such a hard time there, I even ran away to a friend's house but my foster mother found me. She had talked to my case worker, and I had a court date coming up, if I didn't get to go home, they were placing me elsewhere.
The day of the court date came. Carol was also there. I remember I couldn't go into the courtroom when they were talking to Carol, so I was asked to go sit on the bench just outside the courtroom doors. I was curious as to what was going on, and there was no one around, so I slightly opened the door so I could hear what was being said. What I heard still haunts me to this day. Carol was refusing to keep Bobby away from me, the Judge asked her to choose between her Husband and her Child and she chose Bobby!!! She was then advised that they were thinking of taking her other 3 kids away, so that's when she sent Dawn, Crystal,and Robert to live with a friend in Florida. She didn't care about me and she didn't even hesitate when the judge gave her the choice of me or him. This is where my hatred for her really started. I was her daughter, not just some shmuck off the street!! How could she do this to me? I've asked her that many times, and surprise,surprise she denies it, along with all the other bad stuff she's done to us kids that we'd confronted her about now that we're all adults. She still acts like she was the perfect mother. In my eyes, she isn't a mother, she never has been and never will be!! She should be court ordered to stay away from kids and animals for the rest of her worthless little life!!! I say animals, cause she just likes the idea of having an animal (no offense, but I think that's where Crystal gets it from). She used to drop off cats, kittens, dogs, and puppies down the road in Texas where there were nothing but woods. She would get me and Dawn a dog, then take it away 'cause she didn't want it anymore. She's gotten rid of her dog Savannah 'cause she didn't want her anymore, she killed her pet snake by letting it swim in fucking chlorine pool water, she ran over 1 dog and said it was an "accident", she gave me Alice that she had for almost 5 years because she didn't want her anymore she just wanted Sugar (alice's daughter), she 'gave away' Sugar's pups before they were ready to be weened (they were around 4 weeks old), she pawnd off her dogs on anyone who'll take them for awhile when she's tired of them being around, she gave Candy Cane away 'cause she didn't want her anymore, she doesn't give them there shots, doesn't worm them, and doesn't treat their fleas until they are so bad the dog gets sick and has to have their fur shaved. When we went to TN for our vacation, Sugar was still pregnant. They only had a little dog food left and she was asked to get more. Those dogs went almost 2 days before she bought them food, all the while with Sugar being pregnant. She mis-treated her iguana's and left the cage open on the deck, and out they went to explore the woods and come to their untimely death because she was so careless. This is why I say she shouldn't be allowed to ever have animals and I fell sorry for Sugar ( a miniature Sheltie) who is still in her possesion.
Anyways, I watched Carol leave the courthouse and not even care or bat an eyelash. I was so hurt. I was sreaming and crying. They had to take me to another room to calm down. I went to the window of the room, and it had a perfect view of the parking lot. I watched my 'mother' leave, which made me even more hurt. Even after all I'd heard and all she'd done, I still wanted to go home with her.After she left, me and my case worker left in her car. Not before opening the trunk and pulling out a Cabbage Patch Doll (hugely popular at the time)and giving it to me to help me feel better. I still have that damn doll..lmao!!! We went to the Child Protective Services office where we stayed most of the day until she could find a suitable place to put me. I guess no homes were available at the time, 'cause before I knew it we were pulling up to a place called Y.O.U. which stood for Youth Opportunties Unlimited. It was kind of like a shelter but better. It had 4 rooms, 5 bathrooms ( 1 in each room, and 1 in the attic). The 2 rooms in front were for the girls, the 2 in back for the boys. My favorite place was the attic. It was set up as a play room/livingroom. There was a pool table, table and chairs and a closet full of every game and puzzle you could imagine. This is also where we held Wed. church night, and our counseling sessions once a week. Once a year, they'd let the kids throw a party up there, inviting up to 5 people per person.I loved being there!! There was another small house on the propert where the Y.O.U. offices were. They took us everywhere, on walks, to the 'Y' to go swimming, to the zoo, the park, pic-nics, the whole sha-bang!! My school was just down the street, so I got to walk to school instead of being bused, which was awesome. It was my own private time to myself. We also had an arcade game there, a piano, a punching bag on the porch and plenty of yard space. There were 6 beds in my room and we each got to take turns listening to the radio at night. I used to be majorly into Country at the time, so I had to listen to it quietly, 'cause no-one else liked country..lol. They gave us Easter Baskets full of all kinds of stuff including nail polish and make-up, on Easter. We had a phone so we could talk to friends, and the staff was awesome. This place was a real treasure to me then. I don't know if it still exists today, but I hope so. I watched it help so many people and not just younger ones. There were people there that were 16,17. I will always treasure my memories of that place. Eventaully I had to leave. My case worker let me choose where I wanted to be. I went to this one group home that was nice, I had my own room, but I just had a bad feeling of it there. That's when they introduced me to Jim and Judy Holland. They were the group home's parents. The place was owned by Houston and called H.A.P. and stood for Houston Achievement Place. They had HUGE houses. Some were literally almost mansions!! I was placed in one just down the street from the Mayor of Houston. This house was BIG!! It had a sitting type living room, a big dining room, a t.v. room, a rec. room, a kitchen, 4 bedroom and 1 bath upstairs, and 2 rooms and 2 bathroom downstairs. One room downstairs was small and was used for our weekend 'den' mother so that the homes 'parents' had the weekend off. The other room was the homes 'parents'. The room was set up more as an apartment than anything. It had a bedroom and bathroom, a living area and another room off that, that was a kitchenette. They even had their own entrance via the deck in the back yard. We had a weekly 'outing budget' for activities on the weekend.Living with them was just like a dream come true. One summer we went on vacation for 2 weeks. 1 week we spent camping and the other was where I got to go to New Orleans. It was the best time I'd ever had up to that point in my life. New Orleans was magical, with break dancers, cafe's, little stores to explore everywhere, but the best was when we ate at a restaurant that actaully rotated very slowly. I was nervous, as this was obviously a high end restaurant which I had never experienced. The rotating room was a little much to get used to when you're young, and almost made me dizzy. I was experiencing something so wonderful and New Orleans will always have a special place in my heart. The people where amazing, almost mesmerizing, the feeling that city gives you cannot not be explained except to say it was an extraordinary place and summer!!
This is where Kathy Baird came in. She somehow found out where I was, and we set it up with HAP and CPS (child protective services) to go on weekend visits with them. Kathy was like a mother to me, helping me with my anger and tantrum issues, and giving me the love and support a real mother should!! After awhile, I got to go to her house for weekend overnighters which was fun!! They took me to many places even Fame City and Waterworld. They were both very active in my life. They wanted to adopt me and the only thing that stopped them, was my father, bless his heart!! Carol was ready to give me up just like that!! That's when they started to look at my Dad for a permanent home for me. It took them a long time to get him thouroughly checked out, and age 10, I was FINALLY back in my fathers arms!! To Be continued.....Thanks for reading!!!
Love,
~~~B~~~
posted by bannibear @ Monday, January 29, 2007
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